


To Have (To Hold or Not to Hold)

by rozyroe



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Gen, Kid needs some SLEEP and Blackstar is thinking some thoughts thats for sure, Liz knows whats up, Post Salvage Arc, Pre-Relationship, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28401108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rozyroe/pseuds/rozyroe
Summary: In the direct aftermath of the mission to rescue Kid, Blackstar thinking about his feeling for the Shinigami.
Relationships: Black Star/Death the Kid
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	To Have (To Hold or Not to Hold)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sort of missing scene/companion fic to 'Under the stars' but can be read alone.
> 
> Reminder! This is unbeta'd so all mistake are my own
> 
> Pls enjoy Blackstar being an emotional mess in both a funny and sad way

Blackstar feels like he can’t get enough air in his lungs. It is not a bad feeling per se, but the adrenaline of the last fight is leaving him and his body is just trying to keep itself balanced in the aftershocks. There is a flash as Tsubaki revets beside him and rests a hand on his arm.

“You Okay?’ She asks, as she always does. 

“Of course! Aren’t I always!” he grins. Truth be told his body ached and he could sleep for the next week but overall he was okay and that was enough for his partner to ease away from him to talk to Maka.

The world was eerily calm considering they all just kicked Noah to all highwater in a battle of the ages. Sure they didn’t get the book and it wasn’t truly over but they could take this victory and run with it, take some time to recuperate that’s for sure.

“Kid!”

Blackstar’s heart skipped a beat as his head snapped in the direction of Liz’s worried cry. Kid had swayed on his feet only saved from falling face-first into the ground by his weapons being so close. The others were not far behind as he ran over to them and the fallen Shinigami.

Was Blackstar surprised? Not really. Kid had certainly been through a lot in the past 3 months, things none of them even knew about yet. That last battle must have been done through sheer pride and fear alone.

The Shinigami’s head was cradled in Liz’s lap as the two sisters shared frantic looks of worry. Kid has always been paler than the rest of them but now he looks ghostly with a bright red flush across his cheeks. Though he seemed to be unconscious his face was twisted with a look of pain as his chest heaved with every breath. Blackstar felt a pang in his chest whether in sympathy or something more he didn’t have time to think about at the moment.

Whatever he felt was no match for the anger that burned when he found, upon further investigation, red marks on Kids wrist like metal had dug into the skin, there were other injuries as well though the assassin couldn’t tell which were from the fight and which were from the other’s time in the book. Either way, it pissed off Blackstar.

Sid and Stein had come over at this point to check on Kid and the others. Maka wasn’t much better off herself but still conscious which was a good sign. They would all be okay after some rest. Or as much rest as they could get when it was getting down to the wire of something big.

“It’s been a long few months for him” Stein was saying “but nothing he can’t fix with some care and rest”

Though the reply was clinical as it always was with the doctor, it was still nice to hear. Liz and Patty, though still a little nervous, visibly relaxed knowing their meister would be okay.

“Well Let’s get you guys back, I’ll take-” 

“I got Kid” Blackstar was saying before he even fully thought it through, cutting off Sid’s words. He didn’t even understand why he was offering to carry the shinigami. Still, he wasn;t taking back his words. Sid looked surprised and Tsubaki was about to protest as Blackstar just kneeled down so Liz could help Kid onto his Back.

“I’ll be fiineee! Kid weighs like what?? 10 pounds?” Blackstar jokes even as his bruised ribs protested to the extra weight on his back. It was true that Kid wasn’t honestly that heavy and it was nice to know that he was safe with Blackstar.

Not that Blackstar needed to be so close to Kid. of course not.

With that settled, everyone started the walk back to where they could get a ride back to Shibusen. Blackstar felt Kid shift a little on his back as they walked even if his arm stayed limp around his neck. The assassin found himself blushing a little when Kid’s head tucked into the side of his neck.

“Thank you” Liz spoke up suddenly next to him

“For what?”

“For getting Kid back” She glanced quickly to her meister and smiled softly.

Blackstar shrugged or as much as he could shrug really.

“I mean that’s what we all were in that damn book for right? It’s not a big deal.”

Liz fell silent for a moment as if she was thinking what to say next before speaking up, a fond note in her voice.” I mean sure we were but you did most of the work.”

“All I did was beat some sense into him” Blackstar replied like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Liz laughed at his blunt wording “I mean yea! But I don’t think any of us would have been as successful as you were.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, Nothing” Liz acted like she was keeping a secret “I’m just happy he is back”

“Yea! Finally, we can go back to keeping score”

(Blackstar doesn’t say he missed him. It’s his own secret to keep)

* * *

It’s been three days and still, Kid sleeps.

His fever only broke the night before this morning and while he looked his normal shade of pale, it did nothing to hide the bruising. It looked worse than it was but it didn’t make Blackstar feel any better.

Kid was tortured under Noah's watch they were sure now, whether it was only physical was something they wouldn’t know until Kid woke up.

This was also the first time Blackstar had seen him since he carried Kid back. After his own Injuries were taken care of, the assassin seemed to hesitate at the offer of seeing the other even if Tsubaki had already been by a couple of times. The sisters always lurked but eventually went home to get rest themselves. Shinigami-Sama had yet to be by to see his own son as far as Blackstar knew.

Blackstar had been standing in the corner of the room for an hour and still wasn’t sure if he wanted to move closer. Spirit had stopped by earlier to check up on Kid, whether it was for himself or his Meister Blackstar didn’t know and frankly didn’t care. He didn’t stay long which left Blackstar in the room.

Alone.

It was that thought that drove the blue-haired boy to walk the couple steps and sit in the chair that seemed to be rooted next to the bed.

Blackstar had another reason for not coming here. He didn’t know what to do now.

Kid and His relationship was simple, it was banter and bickering. They picked fights and tousled all the time over such trivial things. It was good, Blackstar likes that despite Kid being uptight in his own way he didn’t hesitate to fight Blackstar’s own stubborn attitude head one.

If Blackstar had recently begun to think more on how much he likes listening to Kid talk well, that was just a rival focusing on his other. Right?

See, Blackstar wasn’t as dumb as people thought. He knew what feelings were even if he didn’t like to think about them. He let Tsubaki be the emotionally healthy one of the partnership while the assassin was all sharp edges and a huge ego.

He knew that Kid occupying a good percentage of his daily thoughts were the signs of developing feelings, that didn’t mean he had to act on them.

“You are such a pain sometimes I swear!” Blackstar huffs and of course, Kid stays silent.

“You just haaad to go off and get yourself Kidnapped! Like some rich kid in a movie or something”

“Then I had to come and save your sorry ass! Who is the real winner now huh!”

“Also you so owe me for carrying you back on top of everything else!”

“....”

Blackstar spoke before he even had the thought in his own head like his soul already knew the depth of his words and their need to be said “I missed you.”

In all honesty, seeing Kid for the first time in so long should have been exciting, Blackstar should have felt happy to have found his friend in the depths of the index, He could never forget the crack of his heart at the blank expression that greeted him. The cold eyes of a shinigami gone to madness.

Blackstar knew he was lucky himself to get out of that fight in one piece.

Looking at Kid now made the other Sad. It was upsetting to see his rival of such strength reduced to someone beaten and pushed to such a limit. Kid always said he could take the toughest hits because of his immortal body, that even if it hurt he would always heal in the end as long as his soul was in one piece. Blackstar, someone who took pride in taking care of his body to some extent, thought such thinking was self-destructive.

He hated being proved right. Who knew how much longer Kid would have lasted before he destroyed himself.

Blackstar didn’t lie when he pledged his life to Kid’s cause for a better world. (he would pledge his life to kid own even without the cause at this point)

He was so lost in his own musing that he almost missed the groan Kid let out from the bed.

Blackstar shot up out of the chair, leaning forward to see if this was a sign that Kid was finally waking up. Though the Shinigami’s eyes didn’t open, his neck twisted harshly and his teeth bared in a grimace. Blackstar had a moment to panic before thinking he should probably go get someone when Kid let out another pained sound.

The other was mumbling between clenched teeth, his quiet protests holding their own pains.

Ah. A Nightmare then.

Blackstar had hoped that if Kid was being lazy and sleeping things off that at least it would be peaceful. But he guesses that being kidnapped and tortured in some weird book for over 3 months didn’t exactly make for a good night’s sleep.

“Kid. Hey!” Blackstar called quietly (Even he knew not to yell at someone to wake them up like this. Personal experience.) resting a hand on the shinigami’s arm.

The other’s body gave a jerk in surprise at the touch and Blackstar was about to pull his hand away when Kid seemed to calm down a little like he subconsciously realized it was someone he knew.

(Later. Kid would admit it was the feeling of the other’s hand that reminded him he was home and safe.)

“It’s Okay” Blackstar continued albeit nervously not used to having to comfort someone this way.

“Your home and I’m here. I-If that means anything” Blackstar paused “I won’t let anything happen to you I swear”

That was a promise.

Soon Kid calmed down and was back to sleeping without another pained noise to speak of further discomfort. Though it wasn’t necessary, Blackstar kept his hand near Kid’s wrist rubbing his thumb along the skin there in soothing circles. A fact he would keep to himself for months to come. He never moved his hand lower, never took the other’s hand. The assassin felt that wasn’t something for him to do, a step that shouldn’t be taken just yet.

It wasn’t long after that that the Thompson sisters had come back from their night of rest to be ever vigil at their Meister’s side. Blackstar took that as his cue to leave.

“Thanks for watching him!” Patty shouted after him as he rushed out of the room with a wave.

Blackstar knew that was allowed to stay even if the sisters were there but after such an..intimate moment, it felt embarrassing to be there.

And when Kid woke up later that evening? Blackstar still kept his distance. He had some feelings to sort through.


End file.
